God’s Timing in My Brother’s Battle with Schizophrenia

I’ll never forget the day my brother was first taken by his illness. I was eight years old, playing outside, laughing, and calling for him to join me. But he just stood there, his back turned, muttering to himself, disconnected from everything around him. At that time, we didn’t understand what was happening, but soon, everything would change. This was the beginning of a long journey, where I would witness firsthand God’s timing in my brother’s battle with schizophrenia.

The Pain of Watching Him Struggle 

I immediately ran inside to tell my mom what was happening. She rushed outside, tears streaming down her face as she called his name and shook him urgently, but he dint respond. It was as if he wasn’t there with us at least not mentally. After an endless series of psychiatric visits and tests, he was diagnosed with schizophrenia at just ten years old. Some family members dismissed his behavior as him seeking attention. That belief persisted for years, even as his condition worsened.

Watching my brother decline has been one of the hardest things my family and I have ever faced. His mental health deteriorated rapidly, and he could no longer hold conversations or communicate beyond telling us when he was hungry. Some days, he wouldn’t eat or respond to anyone, and his behavior became increasingly unpredictable, sometimes leading to violent outbursts.

He also struggled with basic personal care, at times he would not recognize the urge to use the bathroom, which led to him inadvertently soiling himself. My mother had to ask some of the men in the community to help when she tried to give him a shower, as his physical strength and resistance to any form of care made it difficult. Over time, his teeth deteriorated and was in poor condition and it broke my heart to know that something as simple as smiling wasn’t easy for him anymore. As time passed, he was slowly becoming a shadow of the person he once was.

Carrying the Weight of Guilt and Questions

When I moved away to college, I carried a deep sense of guilt. I had opportunities my brother could never dream of. How could I treat myself to a meal or buy something nice when I knew he couldn’t enjoy those same things? Sometimes, I asked God, Why him and not me?

It’s hard not to think back on the person he was before his illness, a person so full of potential, with a future that seemed limitless. My brother was in newspapers for his karate achievements, a skilled basketball player, and someone everyone loved to be around. Then everything changed, without warning. I found myself wrestling with questions that didn’t have clear answers. Why does God allow good people to suffer? Why would He let someone so talented and loved endure such hardship?

Recognizing His Silent Struggles

My brother never had the chance to graduate primary school or experience the milestones many of us take for granted. He’s never known the feeling of a first kiss, heartbreak, or the freedom of driving a car. He won’t have a family of his own or face the everyday struggles of managing bills or navigating life’s pressures.

Sometimes, I wish he could experience the challenges I face, the ones that come with growing up and figuring things out. But then I realize that he has his own battles, ones I can’t fully understand. While I can make choices to improve my situation, he doesn’t have that option. His challenges are beyond his control, and nothing he does can change them.

It’s difficult knowing he will never have the chance to grieve or mourn the loved ones we’ve lost. He doesn’t even know that our grandmother, who raised us, has passed away, and he will never stand at her grave to say goodbye. And he will never fully understand how deeply we love him or how much light he brings into our lives every single day.

Finding Faith in the Midst of Unanswered Why’s

Over the years, I realized that faith doesn’t mean having all the answers. In fact, faith often means trusting God when you can’t make sense of the situation. As Jeremiah 29:11 says, ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Even when I couldn’t see it, I had to believe that God had a purpose in my brother’s life and in our struggles.

Questioning God’s Timing in the weight of Responsibility

I always felt it was my responsibility to give him as much as I could. Food became the one thing we could still share, so I tried to help him experience as much of the world as I had, at least through that. However, because of the condition of his teeth, he could only eat soft foods. I often dreamed of finding a skilled dentist to restore his teeth so he could once again chew his meals properly. This desire to improve his life shaped my every decision, influencing the paths I chose in school, the jobs I pursued, and even the sacrifices I made. Many nights, I lay awake worrying about whether I would ever be successful enough to take care of him.

As my mom’s health began to decline, the weight on my shoulders only grew heavier. I prayed constantly, asking God to keep her strong until I was in a position to fully provide for my brother. One of my biggest fears has always been: What will happen to him if my mom isn’t here and I’m not ready to take care of him yet?

Even in the hardest times, I’ve tried to see the good. My brother has life. At 31 years old, he’s still living, even though many of our family members and friends have passed away too young. Sometimes I find myself comparing: Is it better to live without full mental awareness or to live a short but vibrant life?

I don’t know the answer, and maybe I shouldn’t compare, but I cant deny that the thought crosses my mind more often than I would like to admit.

Trusting God’s Timing Through Life’s Unexpected Turns

Life didn’t go as I planned either. After college, I struggled to find work and ended up at a call center. Then, in what felt like a single breath, I lost both my grandmother and my sister, two of the closest people in my life within two weeks of each other. My world was shattered.

Desperate for change, I left home and moved to America, hoping to create a better life for myself, my brother, and my family. But America wasn’t the quick solution I thought it would be. The opportunities were there, yes, but success didn’t come overnight.

Still, I held tightly to my favorite Bible verse: Be still, and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10).

I reminded myself that God didn’t bring me to America to leave me lost. He brought me here to build something better, and I had to trust God’s timing even when I didn’t fully understand, He was working His purpose out in my life.

A Blessing Beyond Belief

Then, in God’s perfect timing, something happened that I never expected. My mom received a call that would change my brother’s life forever. His paternal grandfather had passed away and left property to be shared among his grandchildren. My brother now had two options: either a large one-time sum or a steady monthly income.

For us, the monthly income was the best choice. It would allow us to place him in a home for mentally ill patients where he could receive proper attention. At first, the thought of putting him in a home filled me with guilt. It felt like neglect.

But realistically, my mom can no longer manage to care for him. She struggles to leave the house because there’s no one to stay with him. When she does, she locks him on the veranda for safety and leaves food for him. Worse, she can’t control his violent episodes as he hits anything in his path, including her.

This unexpected blessing showed me that God hadn’t forgotten my brother. All this time, I thought I had to carry the burden alone. But God was already working behind the scenes, setting up something far greater than I ever could.

Letting Go and Trusting God’s Timing

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is to let go and let God. I’m naturally a stubborn person, and the idea of taking my hands off the wheel makes me uncomfortable. But we can’t let fear control us. We have to trust that God is working all things for our good, even when we can’t see it.

My dad always tells me, “What is for you will find you.” Over time, I’ve come to believe that deeply. In what felt like the blink of an eye, my brother’s situation changed. I thought I was his only hope, but God had him in His hands all along. God’s timing wasn’t late; it was perfect.

Through this journey, I’ve learned that we can’t compare our path to others. Some blessings may come faster or appear bigger for someone else, but we don’t know what God has planned for us. What’s important is to trust His process and His timing.

Isaiah 40:31 reassures us: “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

God’s Faithfulness Endures

In those moments of doubt, when I felt like I couldn’t go any further, I realize now that God wasn’t only refining me, but He was also giving me a deeper understanding of His love and grace. I learned that God’s timing is never late, it’s perfect. Even in the most painful moments, His presence was felt, teaching me to be more patient, compassionate, and trusting. I found strength not only through my own will but through the faith that God was leading me, even when I couldn’t see the path clearly.

Looking back, I now see that everything happened exactly as it was supposed to. The hard times, the unanswered prayers, the moments of doubt, they were all part of a bigger plan. God didn’t forget my brother. He was working behind the scenes, even when I didn’t understand why things were happening the way they did.

His plans are always greater than ours, and when we trust Him with our hearts and lives, we learn that His love never fails. So, I stand in awe of God’s faithfulness, knowing that He has a purpose for every struggle and every victory.

My family’s story is a testament to God’s faithfulness, even in the darkest of times. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that His plans are always greater than ours. We just have to trust Him.